Ich wollte immer überall leben, nur nicht dort wo ich war. Am Meer, in den Bergen, in der Stadt, Großstadt, lieber Kleinstadt. Ich vermisste nie einfach nur, ich sehnte schmerzlich. Nach dem anderen Lebensentwurf, den ich gerade nicht lebte.
Die große Brücke. Hoffnungsvoll, einen Fluss zu erblicken. Natur zwischen grau verputzten Mauern zu finden. Freiheit zu schmecken, Ausblick auf Fernsicht zu haben. Aber es waren Schienen im Abgrund. Strommasten und ratternde Züge. Ohne Horizont. Mit Tunneln stattdessen, ohne Licht am Ende, nur Düsternis. Ich hatte so gehofft.
Stadtkindsein hat Grenzen. Ich mag keine Parks. Sie gaukeln einem Freiheit vor, bis man an den Rand stößt. Dann wieder Asphaltwüste. Und Blick niemals so weit das Auge reicht. Nur bis zur nächsten Mauer. Die steht immer noch. Und nicht nur eine.
Das Leben schreibt so unterschiedliche Geschichten. Stirbt Freiheit mit Sicherheit?
„There was once a man who became unstuck in the world – he realized that he was not his car, he realized that he was not his job, he was not his phone, his desk or his shoes. Like a boat cut from its anchor, he’d begin to drift.“
„There was once a man who became unstuck in the world – he took the wind for a map, he took the sky for a clock, and he set off with no destination. He was never lost.“
„There was once a man who became unstuck in the world – with a Polaroid camera he made pictures of all the people he met, and then he gave all the pictures away. He would never forget their faces.“
„There was once a man who became unstuck in the world – and each person he met became a little less stuck themselves. He traveled only with himself and he was never alone.“
„There was once a man who’d become unstuck in the world – and he traveled around like a leaf in the wind until he reached the place where he started out. His car, his job, his phone, his shoes – everything was right where he’d left it. Nothing had changed, and yet he felt excited to have arrived here – as if this were the place he’d been going all along.“
(Castles in the Sky, T. Steele)
The Blogmopped 